"He was just a sweet boy," Andrew’s mom says of him. "He didn't cause us any problems. He loved movies. He loved being home. When he was little he had this funny obsession with playing with the water hose,” she laughs. “He just loved being with his family."
Growing up, Andrew led a pretty normal life. He came from a religious family. He went to church every Sunday, attended weekly youth activities, and tried to study his scriptures with some consistency. He obeyed the rules and didn’t ruffle too many feathers. It was the only life he knew and it was a good one. Even now, Andrew credits much of his happy childhood and healthy upbringing to the religious faith of his family.
As much as Andrew loved his faith and community, it would also be a major contributor to the challenges he'd later face in his life, starting in subtle ways as a teenager. Insecurity was a common theme, never really knowing where he fit in and often trying pretty hard to do just that. His first recollection of same-sex attraction was as a teenager, though he didn’t make the connection between finding men attractive, to being attracted to men. He even had a girlfriend for a while. It wasn’t until after high school that he had his first same-sex experience. Yet even then, it didn’t occur to him that he might be gay.
“I wasn't absorbing the interactions and experiences I was having,” Andrew says. “I was kind of numb to life. It’s like everything was happening at a very superficial level and I wasn’t allowing myself to add it all up and see it for what it was. The only thing I really remember about those first experiences is the amount of shame and guilt I felt afterward.”
Andrew’s story is an important one. While I don’t think you can dispute that things are better for the LGBTQ community now than they were when he was growing up, it doesn’t mean there isn’t still a ways to go. I hope you’ll stay tuned for part two of Andrew’s story. I’ll post it next week.
Thanks for reading!
** Here are a few resources for those struggling with their sexuality. If anyone else has additional resources worth mentioning, PLEASE comment! Above all, Andrew wants you to know you’re not alone. Please reach out if you need support.
www.thetrevorproject.org
www.realmamabears.org
www.pflag.org
I loved this. I think you captured the cloudiness that comes before acceptance or realization maybe. My brother tried to commit suicide 3 different times while a teenager dealing with his attraction to men. My parents were blind to what was going on. Thank you for writing this. These stories need to be heard...or in this case, read. You are my 110th read. Thx for sharing
Thank you for bringing Andrew's life story and experiences to light. We need more open conversations about acceptance, compassion, and tolerance. 🙏✨🕉️